Recap of my life lately

I am currently on vacay with the parentals. So I figured this would be a great time to catch up on my blog. And quite a catch up I've got ahead of me! So let's get started, shall we?

Unlike last time I took a lengthy break from NotSoPlainJane-ing, I actually have been a pretty busy girl. I've been hanging out with friends, doing some traveling around the state (Edisto, Charleston a few times- Rockville Regatta anyone?), spending time with my family, reading loads of books and, oh yeah, GETTING A NEW CAR!! I know I have gone through the saga of Christine, nee Black Betty, ad nausuem. But suffice it to say, once the gasoline leak happened, she had to go. So off the parentals and I went to find me a new car!! I knew I wanted a Toyota SUV, so at least that was a starting point. So about 2 weeks ago, Fiona entered my life.

She's a 2010 Toyota Highlander Limited. Magnetic Gray Metallic. Which means she sparkles in the sunlight (LOVE it). She's got all the bells and whistles. And I am in love with her.

I've also attended weddings for the last two weekends in a row. Two weekends ago it was down in Charleston (I was the "and guest"). Last weekend, my boss got married. The weekend was crazy busy and Moss-tastic! Lots of friends, food and alcohol. Dancing, toasts, and did I mention alcohol?! I do love a wedding (namely because I like to pretty myself up and go glam). Unfortch, you can't wear cocktail to a law office. Or can you.... I know a girl who would like to incorporate a tiara into her every day wear. Cocktail dress can't be too far off, right?

And really, that's been my life for the past 2 months. Add in a new beau for extra excitement and I've been a pretty happy girl lately! Until next time y'all!

There's no place like gnome

I have a college friend who owns his own landscaping company. Which means he's pretty into yard stuff. He and his wife invited the parentals and I to dinner a few weeks ago. I noticed there were some gnomes hanging out in his yard. He and his wife have a game. The gnomes "mysteriously" move around the yard. The parentals and I thought that was a lot of fun. So we helped one of the gnomes move.

A little while after that, my friend got the parentals a gnome of their own. I had some good fun moving him during a party at the parentals' house. He moved from the fish pond to underneath the wine bottle tree. I figured that was appropriate, being a wild party and all!

About a week or so ago, I came home to discover a gnome in my front "yard." It was cute and tiny and holding a flower. I immediately accused my friend, only to learn that they had been gnomed as well. Next on the accused list? The parentals. Oh yes- we had figured out the guilty parties.

A few days later, I came home to another gnome in my "yard." This one is slightly bigger, but still very cute and sitting with a bird in his hand.

Yesterday morning, I walked out of my house to find this note laying on the ground...


I immediately went into gnome-napped mode. I knew my gnome wouldn't leave the yard voluntarily. Even for a vacation with friends. Until I got the following picture texted to me by Pops...


Apparently, little gnome DID go on vacation. Along with my friend's gnome. I'm thinking of grounding him when he comes home though. I didn't give him permission to leave the yard, even if he is with the parentals.

TiVo or BFF?

I got TiVo a few years ago as a Christmas present from my grandmother. Before anyone gets all excited about how hip my Dove is, she gives us money and lets us buy our own gifts. Can't say that it's not a good way to do it. But it's so cute when you thank her for what she "bought" you for Christmas and she doesn't even know what it is. God- she's so adorable!

What I love about TiVo is that it tapes things that it thinks you might enjoy watching. Sure it's weird to come home to shows about serial killers (alright, I really like that stuff) or History Channel stuff (no seriously- me no likey). But it's so much fun to see what TiVo has surprised me with each day!

The only downside to TiVo (ok there are two) are that I can't watch something and taped something else. I have old skool TiVo, yo. And that because I don't have wireless internet, being an internet thief and all, I have to have a phone line to get TiVo to show programs.

On Sunday, TiVo informed me that the programs would run out this weekend. That's weird, I thought. Guess I need to plug it into the phone line. Nope- I have no dial tone. That's the problem with TiVo! Here's the sad thing. Were it not for TiVo, I would have gone WEEKS without realizing that I had no dial tone. Of course, were it not for TiVo, I wouldn't even have a land line. So really, would it have mattered?

I wouldn't be a waiter if you paid me. More than a 20% tip!

Sunday being Daddy's Day, I took my parents out to eat. I figure if I don't pay, Pops actually paid for his own Daddy's Day dinner (what with the joint bank account the parentals have and all). Pops really wanted steak, but all of the steakhouses had nearly an hour long wait. So we ended up at Chili's.

Little Mommy and Pops aren't really Chili's connoisseurs. In fact, Sunday might have been the second time they'd ever been. I, on the other hand, am a big fan. Especially of the molten chocolate cake. Yummers!

We sat down and our waiter trotted over. His name was Mark. The parentals decided he reminded them of Michael J. Fox. Long story short- he was one of the best waiters I've ever had (far exceeding "Beverly" at Hampton Street Vineyard). He was upbeat, he was friendly, he was funny. He got a great tip.

But I know I do NOT have the personality to be a waiter. I would end up cussing someone out. On a daily basis. Good waiters are rare. So if you are in the mood for Chili's, head to the one on Two Notch and ask to sit in Mark's section. You won't be sorry. Especially if you order the cake!

Technology- wasn't it supposed to make life easier?

In November, I went up to NYC to visit my (as I lovingly call her) baby cousin (she's 27). The second night I was there, she had a little par-tay at her apartment. The champagne (and Sweet Tea Vodka) were flowing. And I got hammered. The result of getting hammered meant that I actually fell down at one point (shocking because I am a pretty coordinated drunk). And when I fell down, I spilled Sweet Tea Vodka on my phone. So I had to get a new phone once I got home.

I decided I had to have a phone with a full keypad and I did NOT want a Blackberry. So I ended up with the HTC Tilt 2. After about a week, I decided I didn't love it, but that I'd try to like it. After about a month, I knew I hated it. But by that point, it was too late to return it. Then, it got attitude with me.

Didn't you know that electronics can get attitude? Well, they can. And the Tilt did. It started freezing up while I would be typing a text message. Then, after a few more months, it started turning off when I would V-E-R-Y gently place it on my bed. Finally, I had enough. So last week, I headed to AT&T to make a change. That change was LEGEND- wait for it- DARY. I cracked and bought....

an iPhone

Holy crap- what took me so long?! Why did I think I wouldn't like the iPhone? Am I crazy? Short answer- yep. I am.

The thing is- now that my phone is finally working, another piece of "advanced, foreign" technology hasn't been.

The Mercedes.

Last summer, I was in Charlotte for a bachelorette party (super fun!). And all of a sudden, the air conditioning in the back seat turned into heat. And I mean BLAZING hot HEAT. It's still like that.

Last winter, I was driving up to Sparkle City. The car started getting a little warm, so I turned the heat off. And for the next hour, it kept turning itself back on every time I turned it off.

Last week, I was coming home from work and decided to hit up 5 Guys for dinner.
On a side note, why do the 5 Guys guys stare at me when I order the regular cheeseburger instead of the little one? They always ask me if I'm sure that I want the one with 2 patties. I do. That's why I ordered it, thank you very much. And if you want, I'll eat it here and prove that I can finish it. Because I can. But back to the story.
I was in the center lane of Forest Drive, attempting to turn left. And my car turned itself off as I sat there. Pardon? Black Betty- what's going on with you?

The next day, I left for work and Black Betty sounded a little odd. That's because the rear passenger side tire was flat. And as I sat there in my car, waiting for my mom and a tow truck, Black Betty decided to turn off. Again.

The guys at my tire place decided to check Black Betty out for me. And found nothing wrong with her. She didn't turn off. She ran like a dream.

Saturday, I went over to Irmo for a mani/pedi and some errands. While there, my car decided to not start. Eventually, once the towing guy showed up, she started right up. With the check engine light a-blazing. As soon as I got to my office (where I decided to leave her so she could go to the shop first thing Monday morning), she decided to turn off again.

This morning, we decided to use my car to drive to court. And again, she wouldn't start up. The guys were able to give her a little jump and get her a new battery. I don't think that will stop her from continuing to act up. I think she needs a new computer. Or a new spirit.

Oh Black Betty- I loved you. But Christine- no such love for you. That's right- I have re-named my car. She is possessed. No seriously. She is.

Oh how I suffer. And not in silence either!

I realized that I haven't really been blogging a lot lately. And as I'm clearly more famous than I initially thought, I'm sure that has left legions of fans completely distraught. I apologize.

I wish I could say I'd been doing great things. I haven't. In fact, I have been having migraines for over one full week. Starting the day of my last blog.

I woke up May 17 with quite a migraine starting. It was a court day, so I just chalked it up to stress and hearings. Also, the fact that it had been a long weekend. Then I woke up with a migraine the next morning. And the next morning. And the next and next. Then Saturday night, the pain relocated from simply my temples and behind my eye to my neck. And for nearly 3 days, I was unable to turn my head.

My aunt has been a migraine sufferer for years. And a wealth of knowledge for me now that I am a migraine sufferer myself. Turns out that I was experiencing something called cluster headaches. They hit migraine sufferers and usually are a result of stress. It's like my body had been stressing out up until the point the headache hit. And instead of just one little headache, I had 5 or 6 a day. With shooting pains behind my eyes. And the neck. It was miserable.

So I finally went to the doctor for drugs. Ah, drugs.

I immediately went on steroids and muscle relaxers. Talk about loopiness. Steroids to hype me up and relaxers to make me drowsy. Awesome. I also slapped a heating pad on my neck and got a massage.

And to be honest, that's been my nearly 2 weeks since my last blog. Sad, huh.

Yep, I'm famous

A few months ago, I met some girls who had read my blog before they had ever even met me.

A few weekends ago, I met a fellow attorney who had just read my blog earlier that week before he had ever even met me.

I feel like a rockstar, yo!

I guess I just don't think about how easy it is to find people/things on Al Gore's fabulous invention. He is a rockstar too you know.

Nothing is truly private anymore. If you put it out there, people can find it.

Case in point- there is a blog out there called FITSNews. Last year, they had a "contest" called Carolina's Hottest Lawyer. It was for female attorneys only. This year, it became personal. Some nice person decided to nominate yours truly. Aw- sweet. NotSoPlainJane is a sucker for flattery, y'all!

They want photos, so someone posted a picture of me from a Jersey Shore costume party. Which didn't bother me in the slightest. I think the picture is a lot of fun. It was a costume party for Pete's sake.

Then people decided to get all mean and judgemental on me. Saying that I shouldn't post a picture like that on Facebook. Really, Judgy McJudgerstein? I shouldn't? Why? Because I can't be a fun person and post pictures of my life? According to that person, it's a horrible picture and something I should be ashamed of. The people who should be ashamed are the cowards who are calling me ugly and a 1o-footer (whatever that means). Without having the balls to use their names.

But it did remind me that nothing is truly private if it's on the interweb. Good thing my fun-loving self doesn't get embarrassed by costume party pictures and the like. Wouldn't that be horrible?!