I will judge you for using poor grammar

As an English major, I feel that I have earned the right to be critical of other people's grammar.



But NotSoPlainJane, you yourself have been guilty of misuse of grammar.



Touche my adoring readers. Touche. I have been known to be a little loose with my grammar. Heck, I make up words. My degree allows me to do so. And nothing you can say will convince me otherwise.



Lately though, there have been some real doozies that are getting to me. First off, the use of the word literally. As in, "When that cute boy came over to talk to me, I literally died." Actually, you figuratively died. If you had literally died, an ambulance would have been called and you wouldn't be sharing this tidbit with me. I might literally scream at someone the next time I hear it!



Next up, ending sentences with prepositions. Namely, with and at. For example, "Where's it at?" Worst sentence in the non-English language. I have been known to respond to the above question with the following sentence- "It's AT right over there." Sadly, the questioner doesn't seem to realize that I am mocking them. Then again, they are the ones who don't speak well.



Some of my other big ones are using incorrect words/tenses. The ever popular I vs. ME debate. Using the word I doesn't make it more proper. If it's used incorrectly, it makes you sound like a dumbass. Do not say "Come to the party with Bob and I." Ugh. The two incorrect words that I have heard most recently are undescribable and irregardless. Just go ahead and stop using those words right now. Neither of them are actually words. As I said, I'm a big fan of using words that I've made up (my ever popular craptastic comes to mind). But at least I acknowledge that I am using my power of English-majoredness to allow me to make up these words. I don't actually think they are words!

I swear, bad grammar is becoming as annoying to me as bad etiquette.