It's about how you see yourself

Body dysmorphic disorder is a type of chronic mental illness in which you can't stop thinking about a flaw with your appearance — a flaw either that is minor or that you imagine. But to you, your appearance seems so shameful and distressing that you don't want to be seen by anyone. Body dysmorphic disorder has sometimes been called "imagined ugliness." When you have body dysmorphic disorder, you intensely obsess over your appearance and body image, often for many hours a day. You may seek out numerous cosmetic procedures to try to "fix" your perceived flaws but never are satisfied. Body dysmorphic disorder is also known as dysmorphophobia, or the fear of having a deformity.



I once saw a talk show about body dysmorphia. I can't remember if it was something legit, like Oprah, or crap, like Tyra. Either way, I came to the conclusion that some of the people who suffer from it are crazy. Because there was nothing wrong with them, at least physically. The others truly did have a problem. Extreme eating disorders are a form of dysmorphia and I've always wondered how an anorexic cannot see that at 80 pounds, they are too skinny.


Then I realized that almost everyone I know has some form of body dysmorphia, even if it's not an extreme form.


I was talking to a friend of mine a few weeks ago. She is absolutely GORGEOUS. But she sees a flaw in herself that no one else sees. Something that I didn't even notice when she pointed it out to me. But it is something that bothers her.


But I really started thinking about it in terms of myself. In the past year, I have lost 10 pounds (not by choice, I'll have you know). EVERYONE comments on how skinny I am. Yet I still see areas where I could lose weight. Even after getting on the scale and seeing what I weight. Even after trying on clothes that used to fit perfectly and now fall off of me. I still don't see myself as others see me. And I guess that's what body dysmorphia is really all about.