"Love" stories?!

I love to tell stories about my life. I especially love to tell stories about my bad dating life. And every time I tell a story, people laugh hysterically and say "You should write that down." I also get a lot of "Holy crap- that really happens?!" Which made me start thinking. Now that I have a blog, I DO have a place to write down all these stories. So let's start with some of my favorites.


I'd been seeing a guy for a few months. It was long distance- like 8 hours long distance. But we were trying to make it work. We didn't see each other a lot, but we sure did burn up the phone lines. Anyway, things were starting to get a little off because neither one of us wanted to move. Kind of hard to continue a relationship when it's going nowhere. Literally. So I had already made plans to go up to visit him one weekend. Mid-week, I shoot him a text about weekend plans so I'll know what to pack. Hello- I'm a girl. I'm a "like to plan ahead and be prepared for every option with the appropriate outfit" girl. Next thing I know, I receive the following text. "I don't think you should come up this weekend. I don't have feeling 4 u." To be forever stated as "I don't have feelings number 4 letter u" by me. Yep- I just one-upped Carrie Bradshaw. Screw the Post-It. I got dumped via text speak!! He couldn't even spell it out or do it in a phone call!! Oddly enough, we remained friends (sometimes it's just better that way).


Another doozy is Fish Boy. About 5 years ago, I got set up with some guy. I don't even remember his name, but that's not really an important part of the story anyway. I don't really know much about him, so I decide I am NOT going to let him know where I live. Instead, we meet out for drinks one night at Gracie's (I miss that place!!) We have a great time. At the end of the night, he doesn't walk me to my car. Strange. But he's a West Coast boy. Clearly his mama didn't raise him right. We had such a fun time though, that I agreed to a second date. We again met out, this time at Mangia! Mangia! (I miss that place too!!) Again, a fun time was had by all. We actually shut down the restaurant. We walk outside, have the obligatory hug, and then he walks off to his car, leaving me to walk to the back of the restaurant alone. Not cool. I'm going down an alley. I could be raped. I could be killed. Stupid West Coast boy. But for some reason, I decided to give him another chance. This time, it was a movie and sushi. Because the movie theatre was conveniently located about 1/2 a mile from my house, I relented and let him pick me up. We head to Inakaya for sushi. We have fun. We laugh at people's inability to use chopsticks. I eat eel. We head back to my house and sit in his car, just talking. As I notice him leaning towards me, I think well, this IS date #3. I guess a kiss is in order. Next thing I know, he leans back from the kiss and this comes out of his mouth- Hmmmm- you taste like fish. Yep. Our first kiss and after feeding me sushi, he tells me I taste like fish. I immediately blacked out. I have no recollection of getting out of the car or into the house. And suffice it to say, I never heard from Fish Boy again.


There have been so many others. Break-ups while out of town for a wedding. The time I went to a hockey game for a date and came back out to discover that my date's car had been broken into. Luckily, I hadn't left anything in the car, so didn't affect me! The time I went to law school prom and came back out to discover that my date's car had been broken into. Luckily, my overnight bag in the back wasn't spotted, so didn't affect me! The Valentine's spent at Bubba and Buck's (a country line dancing bar, for those of you who didn't know Columbia back in the day). I'm sure there are countless others. And looking back, they still make me laugh!