Memories- all alone in the moonlight....

Recently, I've been doing a lot of looking back. Rehashing old memories. Both good ones and bad ones. I think it's because of the parentals' cat. When the cat you found 16 years ago is dying of kidney failure, it tends to make you look back. I remember finding Toe (she's polydactyl, meaning she has an extra toe that makes her little front paws look like mittens). She and her twin sister were found by me and my BBSHS (that'd be best friend since high school). They were the cutest freaking things ever. Her sister died a few years ago. Toe has missed her ever since. And now the vet has said, what with the tumors and the kidney failure, it's just a matter of time.

So then I started looking through old photo albums. You know, from back when people took pictures with something called film? High school. College. Law school. I started looking at them all. Then I found them. Videotapes. Yep- those old school things from before DVDs. But after Beta. The first one I watched was from the summer of 1998. The summer before my senior year of college. 4 college friends/fellow Young Life leaders and I worked at Windy Gap for a month on summer staff. For those of you who have never been to or heard of Windy Gap, it is in the mountains of North Carolina. And despite the fact that I haven't been there in YEARS, it might still be one of my most favorite places on the planet.

One of the guys on summer staff was the videographer. So one month of my life is captured on a 15 minute videotape. While a lot of my memories didn't make it to the video (I guess Jud didn't feel like following only me around for a month would be all that exciting), it's still kind of fun to see all those people who were so important to me that summer. And wonder how they are. What they are doing. If they ever pull out that video and smile.

The other video wasn't even remotely professional. It was from the summer of 2000. The summer after my first year of law school. And all we did was mess around. It's just us and our guy friends, talking and laughing and eating and being silly. I looked at my 22 year old self and sometimes wish I could go back. Back to when everything was so much simpler. I look at the girl I was then and really do wish I could live my life all over again. If given the choice, would you live any part of your life over again? And would you live it the same way? While I can honestly say that I might say some things a little differently, I honestly don't think I would DO anything differently. Every mistake, misstep and achievement I've had have led me to the woman I am today. While not everyone might like the woman I am, guess what. YOU don't have to. I do. And I do.